"... Escorted by an army of angels, to your heavenly father, when you sing before him.. don't you worry - you'll be "good enough" were the closing words in Kevin Costner's eulogy as the nation prepared to lay Whitney Houston to rest. That statement revealed so much about the woman name Whitney Houston; the beautiful, talented, legendary singer and actress. Sitting on the forest green couch in my rented condo by the beach in my pajamas, I wept with a pain in my heart for a woman I never met; and yet she is me and if you are reading this, then there is a good possibility that she is like you too.
She was no doubt as vulnerable as you and I, susceptible to the same self criticisms and doubt, wondering if people liked her, if she was good enough. Anyone who has ever heard her sing knows that she was not only good enough - but she was one of the best at her craft - a true vessel for the gift of song.
The sad thing is, she went through her entire life with this question in the back of her mind. Am I good enough? Well, listen up.
We are all good enough - right now in this minute regardless of who we are, what we do, and where we live. The one person who judges us the most harshly is the one looking back at us in the mirror. We have gathered and stored away all the judgments that others have placed on us, to carry as our own burden, not realizing when or where we took ownership for the label that someone gave us about a particular person, place, thing, or action.
Starting today we can change our thoughts, words, and actions to align with the truth. We must break free of the old limitations and conditions that we have consciously or unconsciously placed on ourselves and become the vessel we are meant to be, delivering our own unique gifts to the world.
Just as we didn't learn to punish, judge, and doubt ourselves overnight; we will not change the behaviors overnight. It must become a practice in our lives to be conscious of our thoughts. And choose different ones when the ones we are having are not bringing us peace, happiness, and success!
Whitney Houston's untimely death is a somber reminder of how precious our time here on the planet is... so each of us need to get busy and start living our dreams...
Now!
Monday, October 28, 2013
Sunday, December 30, 2012
2012 Resolution Success
What is the Vision for your resolution?
Do you want to lose weight, save money, get a new job; start your own business?
The possibilities are endless...
2013 can be the year to achieve even the biggest dreams! Or at least make headway towards the BIG DREAM.
Our New Year's resolutions are often times an attempt to remove the distractions in our lives that we know are preventing us from achieving our big dreams. We use the "point in time" as a marker for a fresh start. Often times we bolt out of the starting gate like a man on fire, with pure enthusiasm and intention. As time passes, the enthusiasm fades - and the good intentions fall to the wayside.
That's why it is so important to develop a plan of action, with target dates, milestones, and ways to measure success and progress. The plan creates a framework with enough flexibility to keep you on track and focused on the end goal even when unexpected events might otherwise totally derail your progress.
So... if your vision is to look like Janet Jackson after the Rhythm Nation tour - then sitting on the couch eating chocolates leftover from Christmas is not going to get you there. (Of course, I am speaking to myself.)
I’m fairly confident my big dreams do not require abs of steel, so instead, I am going to implement the changes that I know, based on experience, I need to make.
My action plan is to return to my pre-holiday habits of eating healthier, drinking more fluids, and getting more exercise, while enjoying this sunny southern California paradise I am blessed to call home.
The most important aspect of the plan is ownership. I need to own it, stick to it, and get back on the proverbial wagon when I fall off and find the occasional delicious red velvet cupcake smashed into my face.
Take ownership for your own success, have a plan of action - don't allow the events, people, and circumstances outside yourself prevent you from being successful.
Shiny things along the way get us off track and somehow we end up at the end of the new year in the same place or sometimes even further away from the dream.
This year, develop an action plan, so that next year instead of issuing the same old resolutions - you can replace them with new resolutions taking you even closer to the BIG DREAM!
Do you have an action plan for your resolutions?
Do you want to lose weight, save money, get a new job; start your own business?
The possibilities are endless...
2013 can be the year to achieve even the biggest dreams! Or at least make headway towards the BIG DREAM.
Our New Year's resolutions are often times an attempt to remove the distractions in our lives that we know are preventing us from achieving our big dreams. We use the "point in time" as a marker for a fresh start. Often times we bolt out of the starting gate like a man on fire, with pure enthusiasm and intention. As time passes, the enthusiasm fades - and the good intentions fall to the wayside.
That's why it is so important to develop a plan of action, with target dates, milestones, and ways to measure success and progress. The plan creates a framework with enough flexibility to keep you on track and focused on the end goal even when unexpected events might otherwise totally derail your progress.
I’m fairly confident my big dreams do not require abs of steel, so instead, I am going to implement the changes that I know, based on experience, I need to make.
My action plan is to return to my pre-holiday habits of eating healthier, drinking more fluids, and getting more exercise, while enjoying this sunny southern California paradise I am blessed to call home.
The most important aspect of the plan is ownership. I need to own it, stick to it, and get back on the proverbial wagon when I fall off and find the occasional delicious red velvet cupcake smashed into my face.
Take ownership for your own success, have a plan of action - don't allow the events, people, and circumstances outside yourself prevent you from being successful.
Shiny things along the way get us off track and somehow we end up at the end of the new year in the same place or sometimes even further away from the dream.
This year, develop an action plan, so that next year instead of issuing the same old resolutions - you can replace them with new resolutions taking you even closer to the BIG DREAM!
Do you have an action plan for your resolutions?
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
2011 winding down... Did you achieve your goals?
January 1, 2012 is fast approaching... Where did the year go? Seems like yesterday (well maybe not yesterday, but you get the jist) that we were all talking and tweeting about the topic of 1-1-11, 1-11-11, 11-1-11, and 11-11-11.
In January (1-11), I made a decision to move to sunny southern California from snow-Hio (Ohio) before 11-1-11. I developed a plan of action, I took steps towards it's achievement, and as it turns out - I achieved my goal 2 months early, making the relocation happen on 9/1/11.
It's been a busy, whirlwind, but exciting year for me. As I reflect on the year, and all that was accomplished, I cannot help but go into the New Year with excitement and anticipation as to all the possibilities for the goals I am targeting to accomplish this year.
In 2012, I am going to set the mark higher - so that I have to stretch to achieve them on time! (A little pressure never hurt anyone, right?)
My relocation was a personal goal.
I had a vision for how it could happen, I developed an action plan on the steps that I believed were required to achieve it, and I achieved my goals, in a way that exceeded my own expectations.
The funny thing about my plan of action - the more I believed in the vision that I had for making the move effortlessly and with ease, the easier and more effortless the plan became to fulfill.
It's like the Universe just put the right people, places, and things in my path to get to the next step more quickly.
Do you have a goal to achieve in the coming year? Do you need help developing an action plan?
Let's chat!
In January (1-11), I made a decision to move to sunny southern California from snow-Hio (Ohio) before 11-1-11. I developed a plan of action, I took steps towards it's achievement, and as it turns out - I achieved my goal 2 months early, making the relocation happen on 9/1/11.
It's been a busy, whirlwind, but exciting year for me. As I reflect on the year, and all that was accomplished, I cannot help but go into the New Year with excitement and anticipation as to all the possibilities for the goals I am targeting to accomplish this year.
In 2012, I am going to set the mark higher - so that I have to stretch to achieve them on time! (A little pressure never hurt anyone, right?)
My relocation was a personal goal.
I had a vision for how it could happen, I developed an action plan on the steps that I believed were required to achieve it, and I achieved my goals, in a way that exceeded my own expectations.
The funny thing about my plan of action - the more I believed in the vision that I had for making the move effortlessly and with ease, the easier and more effortless the plan became to fulfill.
It's like the Universe just put the right people, places, and things in my path to get to the next step more quickly.
Do you have a goal to achieve in the coming year? Do you need help developing an action plan?
Let's chat!
Saturday, August 13, 2011
"Improve" and "Control" for Lasting Results
This is the last blog in my three part series on how to use the DMAIC business process improvement framework - to improve your life; whether those improvements are health and well being, career and finances, or relationships with the people and world around you.
Improve is the fourth step of the Six Sigma five step DMAIC approach. The objective of "Improve" is to develop and implement the best plan for improvement of the opportunities (root causes) identified in the analyze phase.
Depending on the root cause of the life process breakdowns - slip up on diets, over spending, or challenges in relationships, you can create methods to address and improve these areas of your life.
The "Analyze" phase that I discussed in my last blog provides you with the awareness necessary to improve your reaction to the situations that cause you to veer off the path towards your goals.
Once we become aware of the triggers that are either missed or switched that cause us to react to a situation in a way that is not producing the results we want to see in our lives, we are able to "Control" our reaction, thus producing different and hopefully the desired results. That's where the continuous improvement part comes in...
Sometimes, even when we change a process in our life we do not see the desired results, we may need to once again adapt our life process to achieve more significant progress towards reaching our goals.
It is in those times that we can become discouraged and put our hopes and dreams on the back burner all together - and fall short of living the life we deserve.
Don't let this happen to your dreams - you deserve the very best!
Depending on the root cause of the life process breakdowns - slip up on diets, over spending, or challenges in relationships, you can create methods to address and improve these areas of your life.
The "Analyze" phase that I discussed in my last blog provides you with the awareness necessary to improve your reaction to the situations that cause you to veer off the path towards your goals.
Once we become aware of the triggers that are either missed or switched that cause us to react to a situation in a way that is not producing the results we want to see in our lives, we are able to "Control" our reaction, thus producing different and hopefully the desired results. That's where the continuous improvement part comes in...
Sometimes, even when we change a process in our life we do not see the desired results, we may need to once again adapt our life process to achieve more significant progress towards reaching our goals.
It is in those times that we can become discouraged and put our hopes and dreams on the back burner all together - and fall short of living the life we deserve.
Don't let this happen to your dreams - you deserve the very best!
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Analyze --> Next Phase of Improvement
In my last blog: Improve Your Approach - Improve Your Life we explored the first two phases of the improvement process, and how to use the DMAIC approach to improve your life.
In this blog we move on to the most important phase in my opinion - Analyze.
"Where and When do "defects" occur." In this case, where do the choices and decisions in your life process breakdown?
In the process of our life, we must analyze why we make choices that do not support the attainment of the goals we set for ourselves. Often times, we are our own worst enemy towards goal attainment. We get distracted, make excuses, and rationalize why we must make choices that do not support our long term goals.
For whatever reason, we often start out on the path to our goals with a great deal of motivation and excitement, and as time passes, our desire and ambition fade away, along with the vision we are striving to achieve.
So, why do we do what we do? Because we do not hold ourselves accountable. We find a way to blame the circumstances, surroundings, or people around us for our lack of success.
For instance, in the case of weightloss - we blame the office potluck, lack of time, and sometimes the DNA of our parents on our inability to make good food choices for ourselves. When in reality, we have the ability to choose.
Here's where a life coach comes in handy. A life coach provides you with the tools and activities you need and works with you to analyze why you have breakdowns in your choices and how you can stay on track and remain accountable for your own success.
Do you need help improving your life process? Let's chat!
In this blog we move on to the most important phase in my opinion - Analyze.
"Where and When do "defects" occur." In this case, where do the choices and decisions in your life process breakdown?
In the process of our life, we must analyze why we make choices that do not support the attainment of the goals we set for ourselves. Often times, we are our own worst enemy towards goal attainment. We get distracted, make excuses, and rationalize why we must make choices that do not support our long term goals.
For whatever reason, we often start out on the path to our goals with a great deal of motivation and excitement, and as time passes, our desire and ambition fade away, along with the vision we are striving to achieve.
So, why do we do what we do? Because we do not hold ourselves accountable. We find a way to blame the circumstances, surroundings, or people around us for our lack of success.
For instance, in the case of weightloss - we blame the office potluck, lack of time, and sometimes the DNA of our parents on our inability to make good food choices for ourselves. When in reality, we have the ability to choose.
Here's where a life coach comes in handy. A life coach provides you with the tools and activities you need and works with you to analyze why you have breakdowns in your choices and how you can stay on track and remain accountable for your own success.
Do you need help improving your life process? Let's chat!
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Improve Your Approach - Improve Your Life!
If "Life is a Process", then it is capable of continuous improvement. This is the first blog in a three part series that describes how the methodologies used in business to support continuous improvement can also be used to improve our personal lives.
DMAIC is a five-step approach for driving costly variation from manufacturing and business processes: Define, Measure, Analyze, Improve, Control. In this blog I'll cover "Define" and "Measure" the other three components will be discussed in a future post.
As the backbone of the Six Sigma methodology, DMAIC delivers sustained defect-free performance and highly competitive quality costs over the long run. Business leaders use it as a structure for improving performance in areas such as customer satisfaction, operational costs, service quality, and countless other possibilities – each business has its own performance metrics that are critical for success. Each of us as individuals also have our own unique set of performance measurements - depending on what we want to achieve in our lives.
Define:
Define is the first step in the process. In this step, it is important to define specific goals towards achieving the results you want from the process.
For example:
The desired result is weight loss
Specific goals would be:
- Lose 5 lbs before Mary’s birthday party.
You want to lower your credit card debt
Specific goals would be:
- Lower your debt by 10K by New Years.
Measure:
You need a starting point and a baseline measurement.
In the examples above
- What is your starting weight?
- What is your current amount of debt?
In this step, accurate measurements must be made and relevant information must be collected so that future comparisons can be measured to determine whether or not improvements have been made.
Now that you know what you want to measure, you need to set goals or milestones towards achieving your goal. Break down into reasonable chunks
- How much time do you have?
- What is the maximum commitment I can make each week?
- How much can I reasonably achieve?
Once you have defined your goals, performed a baseline, and determined milestones and measurements, you will be able to utilize the "Analyze", "Improve", and "Control" phases of the DMAIC approach to aid you in achieving them.
Think about some areas of your life your would like to see improved. Define exactly what it is that you want to achieve, determine where you are currently at relative to the goal, break into small steps.. LiTtLe cHuNks.. mini-SucceSSes.. and have SUPER CELEBRATIONS!!
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Whose Expectation is it Anyway?
Life is full of expectations. Our bosses, spouses, parents, teachers, children, friends and even perfect strangers all have expectations of us and we have expectations of our bosses, spouses, parents, teachers, children, friends and even perfect strangers as well.
Sounds fair enough.
You have expectations of me - and I have expectations of you. But how effective are we really at communicating our expectations?
Not very, based on all the anger, disappointments, and hurt there is in the world today. If you are asking, what does one have to do with the other, let me explain.
Why does someone get angry, disappointed, or hurt? Because their expectations are not met. They had an expectation of a particular outcome, and that outcome did not come to fruition, so they experience the anger, dissappointment, or hurt depending on the situation at hand.
In those instances where our expectations are met, we are able to allow ourselves to be happy, feel joy, love and be at peace.
In some cases, the "agent of the pain" is aware of the expectations, and in other cases we assume that they should automatically understand and agree to our unspoken or poorly communicated expectations.
In either case, the opportunity lies in recognizing that just because you have an expectation of somebody or something it does not necessarily mean that the something or somebody is willing or able to meet your expectations.
We live our best lives when we do not allow the outside circumstances or situations and missed expectations determine how we feel about our lives, about ourselves, and about the people and world around us and instead take ownership for our reaction to the situation or circumstance.
The best expectation is the one you place on yourself; that demands you have a positive outlook and attitude regardless of the situation or circumstance. When we can adequately and consistently meet this, our own expectation of ourselves, we will have satisfied ourselves - thus giving ourselves the permission to be happy.
Monday, August 1, 2011
Sh*t Happens... But you have choices!
It's true, sometimes in life, sh*t happens, but you have choices. You can choose to:
- walk around it
- walk through it
- or just stand there
These choices are available almost everytime we encounter an obstacle in our life.
Those who refuse to let an obstacle get in their way and just choose to "walk around it" are able to do so, because they do not let the obstacle cause them to take their eye off the goal. They merely stay focused on where or what they want to achieve and take a few steps to the left and push on forward. This is usually the best approach, but as I said not the only approach.
There are others who choose to just "walk through it" -- they come through the obstacle, but not without a smelly mess. However, going straight through an obstacle keeps you on course with no risk of taking you off track with the few steps to the side as described in the "walk around it" approach. Those willing to go right through the obstacle might come out a little worse for the wear on the other side - but no doubt having gained some valuable knowledge and experience along the way.
Finally, there are those who let the obstacle overwhelm them - they are paralyzed and can no longer see their goal. They "just stand there."
There will be times in each of our lives when the obstacle or situation seems so overwhelming that "just standing there" is all we can do initially; but the great thing is - in every new moment - we have the opportunity to make a new choice. We can decide to go ahead and "walk through it" - risking some muck on the bottom of our shoe; or we can opt for the "walk around it" approach, and show up at our goal, with a smile on our face - smelling fresh as a daisy.
"Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal." ~Henry Ford
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Life is a Process!
The more I learn and experience in life, the more I recognize that one can relatively easily apply the same principles used by successful businesses to improve the quality of their personal lives. 
Its not about the exact science of six sigma, or the stringent management practices of agile, but more about the general principals of process awareness, control, and biting our improvements off in manageable chunks that result in measurable progress.
The process of deciding what improvements need to be undertaken and the measurable expected outcomes can be a challenge, especially when you try to focus on too many changes at once.
Even in business when trying to improve, successful businesses target specific areas to focus on at a given time. This gives them the ability produce the maximum results with quality.
I hope this blog serves as a guide to continuously improving your life process.
Its not about the exact science of six sigma, or the stringent management practices of agile, but more about the general principals of process awareness, control, and biting our improvements off in manageable chunks that result in measurable progress.
The process of deciding what improvements need to be undertaken and the measurable expected outcomes can be a challenge, especially when you try to focus on too many changes at once.
Even in business when trying to improve, successful businesses target specific areas to focus on at a given time. This gives them the ability produce the maximum results with quality.
I hope this blog serves as a guide to continuously improving your life process.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Our Own Reflection.
Wow! January 1, 2011.
As a child I could not see so far in the future and believe that it existed. I remember the days when I thought that 30 was old. Oh, to relive those days… but alas, one thing I have learned in all these years – is that you cannot live in the past. You must live in the now. Don’t waste time worrying about a future that may not exist and instead enjoy the present for the gift that it is.
I’m not going to deny that my past, the experiences, the choices, and the outcomes are all a part of who I am today – but they are not who I AM. A drop of water is not the ocean… but without the collective drops the ocean would not exist.
In all my years of living, and observing the lives of others, I have come to realize that our biggest challenge is recognizing our own reflection. Not just in terms of the visual reflection of ourselves, but the emotional and spiritual reflection of ourselves.
A balanced life is a harmonious life. A balanced life must take into consideration what I call the 3-D view – the mind, the body, and the spirit.
Looking back at the times in my life when I felt the most off balance one or more of these considerations were neglected. As a result my world got out of control – not always in a seemingly bad way – but sometimes even too much of a good thing is not a good thing when one you are neglecting an area of your life that requires ongoing “maintenance”.
We don’t declare ourselves as healthy and in shape, and then demonstrate the behaviors of someone who is not healthy and in shape and expect ourselves to remain in that condition. We cannot say that we are spiritual or religious and never incorporate prayer or meditation into our so-called busy lives. And we must continue to learn and expand our own knowledge in order to transform that knowledge into wisdom. The wisdom that it will take to see our own reflection.
As a child I could not see so far in the future and believe that it existed. I remember the days when I thought that 30 was old. Oh, to relive those days… but alas, one thing I have learned in all these years – is that you cannot live in the past. You must live in the now. Don’t waste time worrying about a future that may not exist and instead enjoy the present for the gift that it is.
I’m not going to deny that my past, the experiences, the choices, and the outcomes are all a part of who I am today – but they are not who I AM. A drop of water is not the ocean… but without the collective drops the ocean would not exist.
In all my years of living, and observing the lives of others, I have come to realize that our biggest challenge is recognizing our own reflection. Not just in terms of the visual reflection of ourselves, but the emotional and spiritual reflection of ourselves.
A balanced life is a harmonious life. A balanced life must take into consideration what I call the 3-D view – the mind, the body, and the spirit.
Looking back at the times in my life when I felt the most off balance one or more of these considerations were neglected. As a result my world got out of control – not always in a seemingly bad way – but sometimes even too much of a good thing is not a good thing when one you are neglecting an area of your life that requires ongoing “maintenance”.
We don’t declare ourselves as healthy and in shape, and then demonstrate the behaviors of someone who is not healthy and in shape and expect ourselves to remain in that condition. We cannot say that we are spiritual or religious and never incorporate prayer or meditation into our so-called busy lives. And we must continue to learn and expand our own knowledge in order to transform that knowledge into wisdom. The wisdom that it will take to see our own reflection.
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